music & lyrics

An excerpt of a conversation from "Music & Lyrics" starring Hugh Grant & Drew Barrymore...

Sophie Fisher: A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex.

Alex Fletcher: I so get that.

Sophie Fisher: But then, as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It's the combination of the two that makes it magic.

How many of us actually make it past the melody and reach the lyrics and ultimately try relating to the song?

Have a thought about it....I know I have been pondering about this the whole morning.

grrrrrrrrrr

Lately I notice I am very quickly affected and rather badly affected by one particular person. What shocks me is that she means nothing to me and is just someone I have to deal with. But she repeatedly pushes my buttons and as if she knows exactly what buttons to push, she seems to be having a field time pushing them again and again.

Each time I deal with her my blood really boils, and I can feel myself going out of control.

Earlier she wrote me an email which absolutely drove me mad and I have to re-read the email over and over and over again and I went downstairs to watch Channel E for a good 1 hour to calm myself down before I could reply to her.

She’s nobody. Why should I be so affected?

I know for the past year I have tried my best to be patient because I keep telling myself she’s new and terribly young but it seems that her attitude problem is just getting worse. What’s more I’m getting more complaints from all other departments about her and as I’m leading the team I have to justify her behaviour and her attitude to them even though I know the way she talks can really piss people off. I have no choice because I need to try maintaining the relationship between these groups of people to continue to have a mutually acceptable working environment.

Maybe I’m actually angry at the fact that I have all these unnecessary things to deal with that I wouldn’t have to deal with if she had more decency to talk nicer to everyone else. Then they won’t come to me complaining. Maybe I have developed a resistance to everything she has stirred up simply because she cannot talk to people nicely. Whatever lah. Director or not, I’m human too and my human side is saying “Fuck it – go learn some bloody manners and stop giving me grief”.

I have said that I need to get rid of toxic people. What happens if you HAVE to work with them? I would like to avoid talking to her or have anything to do with her but how can I do that if I HAVE to deal with her?

I just feel like I need to find a way to deal with this because face it – people aren’t gonna change. And my way of dealing with it is to take deep breaths before talking to her and be totally indifferent when talking to her and avoid talking to her at all costs.

That aside, I noticed that with what has happened recently I am a lot more edgy and am more easily affected. I really need to start finding a way to release all this pent up frustration……..

thank you....

Due to the drama the last week, I have had no mood whatsoever to even think about my birthday this year. If news were bad there would simply be no celebration at all. But lucky me, things turned out ok....at abt 11am or so I had the good news.

I couldn't control my emotions and burst out crying. Happy tears of course. I know this sounds a tad bit dramatic but I felt like I was given a second chance. I felt like that was a warning to me that something in my life needed to change and most importantly it was like a wake up call for me to value what I always took for granted, even if I subconsciously took it for granted. Shouldn't be dwelling on bad news, what's most important is things are ok and I intend to keep it that way.

Anyway, ended up in LaBodega the usual watering hole for a couple of pre dinner drinks and was supposed to go for a "Brother's dinner", just me and the 2 uncles....but ended up drinking crazy amount of different shots and cocktails with quite a few of them from work and by 10pm we gave up and had tapas and paella there instead. I was massively tipsy but definitely not anywhere close to the drunken states I was in the last errmm....5-8 years??? So, I see that as a sign of improvement (or maturity) hehe...

I also wanna thank all my friends and family for sending me the Facebook msgs, emails and SMSs.....I love you all!! I really do!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!! I'm still feeling all warm and fuzzy from yesterday!!

My birthday cake!!

This was on LaBodega's board (they change it everyday)....I sent it to someone....I hope the message is understood

Okay, BubbleKris... I just read your blog (hehe girl, I've decided to use the names you use for us on your blog....but betcha never heard one for you, huh??)...and your post made me cry!! Anyway I just want to say I love you too girl!! I'm still sniffling!!! Can't wait for ButtercupTjin to get her ass back so we can finally have a get-together! Xx

a chance...

I have been in a rather morbid mood today since "the" call. I have had a few surprise calls in my lifetime and most of the time they are surprising but in a good way. Like the time Projet called and told me I won a trip to Penang....ok la it's not Paris or anything but still the flight and suite were taken care off okay...and that was my first time winning something so it was nice okay...all for just buying their Petrol and filling up a silly contest form.

Anyway I digress...

I sometimes wonder where my grandparents have gone to. The Chinese believe that the people who have departed gets reincarnated after a certain time (I can't tell you the time because there is no manuals for these kind of things, sorry)...apparently who you are reincarnated to depends on your karma in the past life. I always like to think that if you do bad this lifetime you might get reincarnated as a cockroach or lizard or something. I mean, who would want to end up being a cockroach and possibly die from Shelltox overdose or some smelly slippers??! Who would want to live in dirty, smelly, dark places and feed on disgusting stuff?? It's a damn sad life okay!! So anyway, because I want to be reincarnated as a human being again (and I have had this belief since I was wayyyyy younger).....I have to be good in this lifetime.

I know I'm not perfect - I have my moods, my temper and sometimes I can be a total bitch. But deep down inside I know I don't have a bad heart. Despite all my shortcomings, I have tried to be good, to do good things.....to make others happy. So if this ancient theory and my childhood belief was right, I must have been borderline good in my past life but I must have done something pretty bad too, to have to face the repercussions in this lifetime.

I turn 28 on Friday. Yes, only 28. It's a bit too early for payback, isn't it? I know I shouldn't think myself silly but I can't help it.

Whatever I've done wrong, please forgive me. Give me a chance.....I've only just started my journey.

if

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)