I honestly never thought anyone would read this blog. I’m shit at updating and most of the things I write about are not amusing or thought provoking or funny or controversial ….. this is just a ranting ground for me really.
It got me thinking today when someone asked me if I was really as depressed as I sound. My last post was written in a very random emo moment and was a reflection of something that was on my mind at that time. But at that moment only.
So I thought maybe I should write about some more positive things in my life so *just in case* some people accidentally end up reading my blog they wouldn’t think I’m at the brink of killing myself.
So…the positive things in my life…
I have the most wonderful parents in the whole world. This is not meant to sound cheesy or anything but it is true. My mum’s my bestest friend in the whole world and I’m close enough to my dad to talk about things daughters would normally cringe to discuss with their dads. My parents brought me and my brother up in a very balanced way I’d like to think – we’re both very grounded culturally but we have also always been encouraged to speak up and to follow our hearts. I have made some really stupid decisions in the past 3 or 4 years (some of them decisions that most parents will never agree to) but being my parents, they stuck to me through all my decisions and silliness and never once said “I told you so”. They are the loves of my life for sure. Lucky me.
I might not have many friends I hang out with all the time but I am blessed with the friendship of my two closest and most trusted friends. I have known these 2 girls since 1998 and our friendship has remained strong until today and there are no 2 other people in the world other than my own family that I know will be with me through anything and at anytime. Some people are lucky enough to have met one friend like that in a lifetime but I have two and for that I’m sure I have done something right somehow for it is definitely my good karma that I’m blessed with not one but two of this very unique friendship in this lifetime. They are family to me now….in every way.
I also have a small group of friends from different phases of my life that have made a mark in my life and in each of their own special ways have a very special place in my heart. These are the people I can lose contact with for months or years – but when we meet we are able to pick up from where we left with no effort at all.
I have a job now which I love. Yes I do love what I do. I might complain and moan about the other things that come with the job but then again no job is perfect and I must say my job has given me quite a lot of personal satisfaction throughout the years. I still wished some of the things were different though but I guess we can’t always have it all right? But point is I have a job, it has given me an opportunity to grow and while the monetary side of it is honestly nothing to really shout about, it has made a difference in my lifestyle….especially when I compare it to the lifestyle I grew up with. Best thing is I am now able to slightly (just very slightly) be able to pamper my parents a little every now and then.
What else….I guess I’ve been pretty lucky too, to have a bit of an opportunity to travel at my age? I know many have traveled a lot more than I did, but hey, my family was never rich enough to enable us to travel overseas as I was growing up. There was a time (probably right before I started this job) that getting on an airplane itself was a treat / luxury….how times have changed. I’m now officially allergic to cabin food and the smell of airplanes….and dread waiting at airports….dread flight delays….dread the queue at immigration….dread lugging my laptop and bag….dread having to pull my heavy bag off the conveyor belt….dread room service. But all that aside, I’m still a lucky girl I guess to have had the experience of traveling for work. Have to think positive right – that’s the whole idea of this post right??!!! Hehe
Hmmm….I guess the one part of my life that has given me the most headache and grief is the relationships part. I have been through some really rough time over the last couple of years but I can honestly say I’ve met some very interesting people who have made some positive impact and changes to my life (if I stop thinking of the negative!!). I guess I haven’t been successful or lucky enough to meet the right person….perhaps in most circumstances the timing was not right….who knows. But looking at the brighter side of things again, I’m thankful for being able to love, thankful for not giving up on love and thankful that I have met these people who have made an impact in my life. True that it has made me somewhat cynical - perhaps even a little bit jaded at times… but I am definitely stronger emotionally today than I have ever been. I guess not all bad experiences are negative even if they hurt a lot. I guess SOME good will always turn out from something painful. It’s true that it’s easier to learn and grow over hurt and disappointment. And I still hold very dearly to the belief that things will eventually turn out ok. It always does.
I am nowhere near perfect I know but I am lucky I turned out to be who I am and to be where I am and to have all the wonderful people in my life. So really, it’s not all that bad being me!!
Oh while we are at talking about all the positive stuff in my life, I had expected nothing this Valentines….afterall the last 3 Valentines for me have all been uneventful. But this year, someone sent me some roses and chocolates!! The sender has obviously chosen to be anonymous, for what reasons I’m not sure. I still don’t know who delivered them to me but whatever it is, and whoever it is, thank you for the sweet gesture and though I can’t personally say that to you, it made my day because I truly felt like somebody cares. :-)
So I guess it can’t be all that bad being me. I have so much to be thankful for in my life….I AM a lucky girl. Don’t be jealous k?
