a chance...

I have been in a rather morbid mood today since "the" call. I have had a few surprise calls in my lifetime and most of the time they are surprising but in a good way. Like the time Projet called and told me I won a trip to Penang....ok la it's not Paris or anything but still the flight and suite were taken care off okay...and that was my first time winning something so it was nice okay...all for just buying their Petrol and filling up a silly contest form.

Anyway I digress...

I sometimes wonder where my grandparents have gone to. The Chinese believe that the people who have departed gets reincarnated after a certain time (I can't tell you the time because there is no manuals for these kind of things, sorry)...apparently who you are reincarnated to depends on your karma in the past life. I always like to think that if you do bad this lifetime you might get reincarnated as a cockroach or lizard or something. I mean, who would want to end up being a cockroach and possibly die from Shelltox overdose or some smelly slippers??! Who would want to live in dirty, smelly, dark places and feed on disgusting stuff?? It's a damn sad life okay!! So anyway, because I want to be reincarnated as a human being again (and I have had this belief since I was wayyyyy younger).....I have to be good in this lifetime.

I know I'm not perfect - I have my moods, my temper and sometimes I can be a total bitch. But deep down inside I know I don't have a bad heart. Despite all my shortcomings, I have tried to be good, to do good things.....to make others happy. So if this ancient theory and my childhood belief was right, I must have been borderline good in my past life but I must have done something pretty bad too, to have to face the repercussions in this lifetime.

I turn 28 on Friday. Yes, only 28. It's a bit too early for payback, isn't it? I know I shouldn't think myself silly but I can't help it.

Whatever I've done wrong, please forgive me. Give me a chance.....I've only just started my journey.