if

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

season ... reason ... lifetime

Letting go, to me, has always been difficult. I find it hard to let go of memories, of personal things, of failing relationships, of friendships… but perhaps there comes a time in our lives when we need to stop expecting problems to dissipate or habits to change and just accept that a relationship or friendship is no longer working.

I have been stuck twice in that situation and both times I have hung on stubbornly; believing that time, faith and love with make everything better. Waking up full of hope and going to sleep in disappointment was a regular affair. Despite all the heartache, the bewilderment and the disappointment, I hung on. And on. And on. But then there is always one day, when we least expect it, we know in our hearts we have ran the race and have reached the end. It is they day I am 101% sure I am indifferent and going to stay that way. It is the day I ask myself over and over again to do something but cannot seem to bring myself to do anything because I have lost that spark of hope. It is the day I tell myself “enough”. It is the day I am so exhausted I am numb to pain. It is the day I and so frustrated I can’t even talk to myself about it.

It is the day I choose to put the past behind me.

Sure – at times I still look at that two incidents in my life and allow the quick “what ifs” to pass through my mind but I know this was just part of the emotional rollercoaster ride. I know if I stuck to it, I will be ok in minutes, in hours, perhaps a day. But point is, I will be ok. I am ok.

Someone sent this (see below) to me 2 months ago. Someone I have grown to care for a lot. It’s ironic that I now have to use the very same email to try figure out how the person fits in to my life….was that person a reason … a season … or a lifetime? I’m confused.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.